Thursday, April 15, 2021

Update on my Healing Journey with CRPS, Depression, and Anxiety

Mental health stigma sucks! But what's worse is gathering the courage to seek help and then being dropped by three therapists in the same year. I now have a jaded view towards our health care system and the lack of well-trained professionals that deal with the psychology of pain and traumatic events that are tangled into one. 

To finally have someone who is pushing me and going deep is a big deal. I'm thankful for her, she's finally been able to release some trapped emotional pain. When you go through a change so sudden as I did, it is difficult to process those events. 

Friends and readers, the journey out of the casum, or great ocean trench, is not going to be easy. Grief is not a smooth sailing emotion. It is the testing, proving, and adversity phase of my real-life heroes journey. This is the point where giving in or giving it your all matters the most. 

I am by far not the same writer I was during the trying four years of the high school hurricane. Growth, challenges, and triumphs have molded me along the way. I took a flying leap into the world for a semester of college education hours away from home. Sadly, shortly thereafter my wings were clipped. 

A devastating diagnosis of CRPS came after I experienced having my ankle crushed between my bike and a car while serving as a church volunteer. About Six months after the accident and a surgery that wasn't healing, my whole life got turned upside down. All my dreams crumbled away as the calendar flew forward. But no matter how much time has passed, my clock froze as time around me seems to continue without me.

Grief is something you really need to feel to let it out. I've been numb to this emotional pain for so long that it's been difficult to allow it to hurt. Crying is healthy and often necessary for healing to happen. It doesn't make you weaker. Though having some privacy in these moments of vulnerability helps. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable with a few people you trust. Sometimes all it takes is for your inner pain to be heard. 

Feel free to comment about your questions and experiences 😉