Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Part 3: Tales of the Universal Knights!

 Hi there readers, it's me, Kirsten, I took over the blog for Amanda Evergreen momentarily. It's me who that cuningly brilliant author has placed in the path of danger! She last left you wondering if I'd get off of Naha alive & having accomplished the Mission of my fellow Knights! I'm here to continue my own story today!

Anyway, this is how the story should actually be told...

I felt that I had failed in the mission that Patrick had entrusted me to do here on Nada as the native man stormed away from me, anger fuming from his splashing steps down the cobblestone road. I was frozen in foggy confusion mixed with the physical numbness of the rain that still drizzled from the night sky.

I needed to find the dralcons and drageels. It was high time that I put them all back on their own world, far from civilized systems. I was tired of the trouble makers interrupting my studious endeavors. Not that these creatures would care about respecting my will to learn at college. They where more trash the place with parties type. Known for bending and breaking the rules so far that there were no punishments pre-determined for their actions. So that's why I'm here, babysitting duty level like literally five million! I didn't have the patience for this at all today if you can't already tell.

Yeah okay, so mabey I'm not as good of a writer as my author, but, I'm taking control now! Whatever you do, don't let Amanda edit my work! I can't die okay! Seriously, I am too important to the story.

So, here I am, comming back to write, only to discover that my character has taken over my story!

Kirstein was unsettled by the man she met, she wanted to know why he would even bother speaking to a knight if he didn't like the Universal Knights. His purple skin was so new, it was both a wonder and an anomaly to her all at once. Space is a big place, a very big and very lonely place at times. No life can survive in space without being prepared to meet it head-on. These people would rather take matters into their own hands on Naha. Though, I, Kirstien doubt that Patrick would be listening to me.

I tried to connect to Patrick's communication frequency, but to no avail. Only static. I was panicked before the Nahadian told me that they didn't approve of the knights, but now the panic was rapidly confining me. The cold rain mixed with my shallow breaths made me dizzy until I felt myself falling.

I (Kirsten) awakened at the control center of the Universel Knights in Southern Utah. I knew where I was, but everything else was foggy. I didn't know how I got here. My eyelids dropped, trying to push me back into the realm of sleep, my appendages felt heavy as if there where weights placed on top of me. My arms stung as if thousands of needles had been placed into them. Then, it felt as if my skin was burning with hives, an itching sensation so strong that it burned with pulsing pain. There was an odd metallic taste in my mouth, the unpleasantness of it made me feel a bit queasy. I wondered if I had been put under by the doctors at the facility, but it seemed unlikely given that the knights had pulled me off of Naha.

Still, I couldn't get the Nahadian man out of my mind. He seemed to have lost hope that his own world could defend itself. I felt it was my duty to help them, even if they didn't want the help. My oath as a Univercail Knight was to protect all species across the universe, not just my own. I had a sense of belonging because of my oath, and I would die if neccicairy to defend the values of my Shyellian family lines. I didn't fight for the glory of war, I was a Knight for the honor of helping others. I joined the Knights for the purpose of saving my own people of Earth, and the innocent on Shyelle. If I was going to defend these people of Naha, I needed them to want my help though. Otherwise, they could turn on me.

It's kind of ironic that the very people I am trying to protect could be launching plans to kill me and my friends simply because we are part of an intergalactic union that is built on values of honor and bravery. I suppose it is also time we respected the wishes of those who don't want our influence, but I hate to leave the Nahadians defenseless against the drageels.

I wished that I could talk to Uziel now as thoughts swirled in my unsettled mind. I longed for his strength, especially for a time as now when I felt that my own strength was fading. I knew that Uziel could assure me that I had done my best on Naha, and I honestly needed that reassurance now more than ever as I considered all the things I should have done.

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

With Wings of the Phoenix: Rising Above Less than Ideal Situations

 A Phoenix is a mythical bird said to rise from the ashes. A phoenix gains even more power as it rises again from the fire and ashes. So, could a phoenix symbolize the rebirth of something within ourselves? Something humanity is aspiring to?

The short answer is, Yes. But why? A Phenix must first pass through sorrow, pain, suffering, and even the intense heat of the flames before becoming reborn as even more beautiful than before. So it is with us as well in the middle of an experience that threatens to break us at the very center of all we believe. I've experienced a few events like this in life. From being hit by a car, to painful recovery, and to CRPS (Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome).

I could admit that the journey is hard, but those words I feel are far to megear to describe the enormity of what has happened to me over the last 18 months. In all it's worth, I've found that I'm not as invincible as I may appear to be on the surface. I mask a lot of darkness, and, I decided that it's high time to rid myself of its imprisonment. Grief, anger, frustration, Self-doubts and yes, even depression have deeply affected me in conjunction with my physical challenges after the accident.

Yet, I still believe that peace is possible because I have found it once before. Hope is also something that I know is waiting for me on the other side of this grief. Some people in my church say to just forgive and forget, yet, there are times that forgiveness can't and shouldn't come immediately. In order to truly forgive, a person must also accept what is and what they have no power to change. But, that is where I've been stuck for a while. I never have made it into the process of grief far enough to be open to other people's perspectives.

So, I also decided that it was time to do one of the hardest things for anyone who struggles with mental health challenges, which is to speak out about it seeking professional help. It's not easy for most to understand, I get that. But, for crying out loud, if you had a life-threating injery you would be in the hospital treating it right away. You wouldn't even think twice. If you had bones sticking out of you, it would be a clear indication that death is taunting you.

"Without hope, we have nothing"

- Shyelle Series

These posts exist with a purpose! I would not dare to write them if I didn't believe in the meaning of their messages. You see, I don't write just to have my words remembered, I write to expose ideas, opinions, conflicts, morals, and even life lessons. I write "as an act of hope." Words are freedom from the things you hide, from the silence I was forced into. I learned that words are powerful tools, and yes, even weapons too. Words can convey the most potent of human emotions.

To feel, that is the fire. It can be hot, it can burn us to feel loved, then to have it all crash down. Its risky and those of us who live with our hearts on our sleeves are often told that we are too emotional, too high matnience. But, when we shut out our emotions, we also shut out our humanity. As a whole, we are generally motivated by emotion. But, none of us can be happy all of the time.

There are days that I do wish that people saw my not so happy side. Why? Because most see what they want to see, not the suffering. Most people don't see the dragon of CRPS for what it is, the don't see the emotional pain left behind from the physical suffering either. I don't always believe that suffering is something to be ashamed of. It's alright to suffer, it's alright to have times rock ya a bit.

The whole reason this post talks about a phoenix is because it is ultimately your choice to rise from the ashes of adversity or not.