Thursday, April 15, 2021

Update on my Healing Journey with CRPS, Depression, and Anxiety

Mental health stigma sucks! But what's worse is gathering the courage to seek help and then being dropped by three therapists in the same year. I now have a jaded view towards our health care system and the lack of well-trained professionals that deal with the psychology of pain and traumatic events that are tangled into one. 

To finally have someone who is pushing me and going deep is a big deal. I'm thankful for her, she's finally been able to release some trapped emotional pain. When you go through a change so sudden as I did, it is difficult to process those events. 

Friends and readers, the journey out of the casum, or great ocean trench, is not going to be easy. Grief is not a smooth sailing emotion. It is the testing, proving, and adversity phase of my real-life heroes journey. This is the point where giving in or giving it your all matters the most. 

I am by far not the same writer I was during the trying four years of the high school hurricane. Growth, challenges, and triumphs have molded me along the way. I took a flying leap into the world for a semester of college education hours away from home. Sadly, shortly thereafter my wings were clipped. 

A devastating diagnosis of CRPS came after I experienced having my ankle crushed between my bike and a car while serving as a church volunteer. About Six months after the accident and a surgery that wasn't healing, my whole life got turned upside down. All my dreams crumbled away as the calendar flew forward. But no matter how much time has passed, my clock froze as time around me seems to continue without me.

Grief is something you really need to feel to let it out. I've been numb to this emotional pain for so long that it's been difficult to allow it to hurt. Crying is healthy and often necessary for healing to happen. It doesn't make you weaker. Though having some privacy in these moments of vulnerability helps. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable with a few people you trust. Sometimes all it takes is for your inner pain to be heard. 

Feel free to comment about your questions and experiences 😉

Friday, March 26, 2021

10 Tips for Twitter Advertising

 If you want to know the ins and outs of advertising your business on Twitter, this is a great place to start off your digital marketing campaign. 

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Monday, February 8, 2021

Using Fiction to Describe CRPS

“All of the sudden all I could think or feel was pain. Crushing pain. Stabbing pain. Pain so strong that I curled up, clenched my fists, and cried out. Pain shot through my left ankle like lightning across a night sky. It was as if a multi-headed angry dragon was in my foot. The dragon bit, snarled, and spewed fire upon my ankle and leg as if I had attempted to steal it's hard of treasure from under its nose. Enraged the beast seemed to sink its many teeth into my skin. I yelled out for the doctor with desperation. My vision began to blur with the sobbing snotty tears of agony.” - Tales of the Universal Knights, Evergreen. 

CRPS, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome is a beast! It's now about learning “How to train your Dragon” in a metaphorical way. 

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Saturday, December 26, 2020

Part Two: Tales of the Universal Knights

 Missed Part One? Just click the in-text link to catch up on what you missed!

Something caused a rather large splash in the street just to my left side around the building corner out in the main street. Snaping my attention back to watching over this world, I became alert, ready to pounce.

I very carefully drew my sword from its sheath. It made a slight clink against the tip of my blade. I waited for a moment in the silence before dashing into the street to meet my fate. This was more my style of a night watch now! Adrenaline pumping I commanded my legs to carry me forward and I soaked in the air rushing past me for those few seconds of wondering what would be around the corner from me.

As I rounded the corner to clearly see my potential foe, I found nothing there at all. The absence of someone or something should have bothered me, but I had gotten to used to Andrew’s power of invisibility that this occurrence didn’t feel so unusual to me as it probably should have. Andrew had startled me many times with his Shyellian gift, yet, this place was different, and there was no magical crystal to activate the special genetic code that is present in those of Shyellian decent.

“Andrew?” I called out, but as the word left my lips, I knew it was a mistake. Possibly even a fatal one.

I listened again, trying my best to find the source of sound that would indicate movement, but, it was to no avail. There was nothing there. The street was empty, the only sound to be heard was the rain still steadily falling on the cobblestones. I wished that someone was with me here now because at least their presence could warm me up from the unrelenting rain. I stood there with no one else around for a long moment, completely cut off from the Knights, and totally alone in a world that wasn’t even mine.

I wondered why I had been so drawn to rejoin the Knights. All I felt here was regret, and the sting of dreams that had fallen through. I knew I was meant for something more, but whether it was on or off-world I also feared that I would never know. I had seen so much in the past five years, yet, nothing had changed me more than my time as a Univercail Knight. Nothing had shaped me more than being entrusted by Uziel, the king of the Ice Kingdom with leadership in his kingdom. He was more than a creature to me, Uziel is my friend, my verry best friend in the form of a dragon. I could only wish he was here with me now because I needed his guidance. His wisdom could calm any fear I had ever experienced in duty.

Coming back to myself again, I realized that my hand was shaking as my sword trembled in my grip. After five years, I still had my moments of panic. While the panic seemed to come when it was more reasonable, it still affected me. I don’t think that anyone can really ever grow out of having anxiety, even if they wanted too. It doesn’t become less bothersome as you get older, nor with the passage of time.

I heard the footsteps behind me this time. I whirled around to face them, steading my shaking body with a deep inhale of humid air. The rain here had a strange smell to it, a touch of sulfur, a rotten kind of smell that could only mean one thing. There was a large amount of volcanic activity near here. Possibly a highly geothermally active planate in general.

“Who are you?” I asked, hoping for a good impression, yet still unwilling to sheeth my weapon.

“You are not of this world, human.” replied a raspy male voice.

“How do you know that?” I asked a bit startled, still unable to see the owner of the odd voice.

“Your clothes give you away. Your a Knight, a guardian, aren’t you?”

“I am,” I replied cautiously. “I’m here to help you.”

“How can you help those that you have yet to understand? We don’t need help from the Knights. Leave us to our home, we will leave you to yours.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend,” I answered. “There were reports of unwanted drageel guards on this world.”

“You have no place here. Nor do they, and we are prepared to deal with them. You should go, my people will not treat your presence with grace. ” The man said stepping away from the shadows until I could see his scally face.

“What are you?” I asked curiously.

“I am a native here, I’m a Nahadian.”

“Why are you not afraid of me?” I asked, taking a step closer.

The Nahadian man took a step back. “I am warning you for your own good, I have respect for the knights, unlike the governers of my people.”

“So you read the texts about our formation and mission?” I asked, probing carefully for some information on the Nahadian culture.

“Yes, but it wasn’t easy to get them. Such texts are banned on Naha.” He replied in a low growling whisper as he reached into what I could now see was a cloke that kept the rain away from him.

He pulled out a printed book, a copy of the Universal Knight recruitment and mission statement. It was just a pocket-sized hardbound booklet, but it contained information about our influence on the Universe. I stared down at the booklet in his purple-tinted hand. I wondered why this Nahadian man would carry the book if it was contraband on Naha, but I also wondered why it was contraband in the first place.

“How did you get the beautiful purple pigmentation in your skin?” I asked the man as he carefully concealed the booklet in his cloke again.

“Our blue sun causes purple pigment to become more prominent. Though it is darker depending on genetics too. Some of our people do not believe that purple pigmentation is desirable as you do. The light-skinned like me often have lesser powers here. The light-skinned people come from a line of albino humanoid invaders that mingled with the natives. We are not considered to be pure Nahadians.” He explained.

“So are you wanting to leave Naha?” I asked, trying to find someone that would help me determine the man’s intentions here.

“Naha is my home, why would I leave everything I know here?” He growled with frustration at my question to him as he shot back his own question for me.

I stood silent for a moment, waiting for him to expend the flaming anger in his dark seemingly hollow eyes. He watched me in return, searching me thoughtfully with his gaze. I felt every muscle tightening under the pressure of nervous energy. My armor began to feel much heavier against me. Yet, feeling the onset of panic, I tried to visualize the weight being lifted from me. When my visualization failed, I shifted my stance and gathered my oozing thoughts.

“You’re people have outcasted you. There is more to the universe than oppression. I can give you peace off-world.” I finally spoke, breaking the awkward tension between us.

“You want to take away my home! To think I was the one who called the knights here, it was foolish.” The man growled as he turned away from me.

I was alone once again, cold, wet, but most of all, feeling I had let down my fallow knights in this mission on Naha.

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Part 1 Tales of the Universal Knights

Part One, Two, Three, Four, Five

 Kirsten is now a 22-year-old college student. (The same character form the Shyelle Series) These stories take place after the Shyelle books in the timeline.

Audio File: Part One

Part One: Tales of the Universal Knights

When most people think of space travel, they typically don’t associate it with dragons. Well, what if I told you that dragons figured out how to become just as advanced as humans are in 2085? Would you dare to believe me that I voyaged with them?

Well, welcome to the journeys of the Universal Knights. We are a band of knights sworn to chivalry to protect the universe from injustices. We protect the week, fighting off those who threaten the freedom of others. I’m Kirsten, a leader among the Universal Knights. Not by choice, no, but by duty. It’s my job to find others worthy of the responsibilities I hold and that I must keep away from public knowledge.

I was soaked from heavy rain, even with my armor covering most of my cotton-based black clothing. Even though my armor was light and quite comfortable, it was definitely not waterproof. I was a bit worried about rust, but the metals were made to withstand the weather. Nonetheless, I was cold and soggy on an unfamiliar world past sunset.
My tiny emergency flashlight did little to help me see my navigation system on the small screen of my watch. I wore it on my right side, screen on the inside of the wrist. It went over my gomulets. Intergalactic transmissions were not entirely reliable, not yet. Patrick was working on placing satellites to run the routing through, but progress was slow.

Frustrated, cold, and a bit on edge, I decided that navigation would have to be done in a more primitive manner. I gazed up at the night sky, hoping to find a star or something to point me in the right direction to the portal. I worried that it had been left on, that the natives on this world would wander through the active gate. I wasn’t sure what kind of life forms existed here, but one thing was for sure, I didn’t want any more hostile life rampaging earth. Not after I had witnessed the dragon king of fire Ezekien kill many of my own kind and left them without warning of his declared war.

The sky didn’t provide me with much help. I didn’t know the star charts for this world, none of the Universal Knights would know more than I did from the surface of the planate. Still, I wondered about this strange place, but fear of being discovered confined me to the shadows. I definitely wasn’t up for being interrogated by a species I’d never before encountered.  I wasn’t even sure if I had been given the right coordinates by Patrick for the world I was to be guarding today. Well, of course, today was relative, given it was getting later in the evening hours of darkness here.

It was only twenty or thirty minutes into my assignment, and I already had my regrets about accepting it. It was miserable conditions like this that caused me to question Patrick’s judgment in making assignments. Our purpose was to protect other worlds, not sit around and wait to be attacked. I felt a tinge of nervous energy travel up my spine and into my shoulders with this thought. I didn’t want to be a target and die off-world. Besides, I was expected to be in an exam tomorrow.

Exam! … great. I forgot again. This whole deal with keeping up a double life was doing a number on my studies. The universe never seemed to need saving when it was convenient. Yeah, don’t even get me started about the drageels, they are never considerate of my study schedule. Drageels, the nasty cross bread eel dragons where mightily ruthless too, with a craving for destruction.

Sometimes getting off-world was a relief for me I’ll admit. It was after all nice to get away from my routine for a while, but lately, even my off-world travels have been a bit dull. I’d rather make contact with a friendly species for once who appreciated the presence of the Knights rather than a hostile one who told Patrick and Uziel to stay away from them and their galactic affairs.

My mind worried about something that wasn’t of any relevance to this planate, yet to my future, grades determined everything. They determined where I could live, what I could eat, how I got around. Grades where a direct link to lifestyle on earth. I don’t suppose any life form here in the darkness who was entrusted into my care would understand that though. 

Thursday, December 10, 2020

How to Blog Fearlessly as the True Warrior You Are

Fear is an interesting emotion in the sense that it is often times harmful, yet without any fear our own survival would be jeopardized. In the process of being seen and recognized as an author, you have to be willing to be vulnerable. Allowing another person to read your work is also something that gives a deep part of your soul to the universe. Your thoughts have been documented in words that can carry a deep underlying meaning, overarching themes, and even some subliminal messaging. Not everyone is going to agree with what you write either and you need to be prepared to deal with hate comments in a way that turns the hate back on the commenter. 

Preparing a piece of literature is a lengthy process of blood, sweat, and tears. It's only natural to be protective of your creation. The things that help you to conquer self-doubts about your work are remembering the reasons why you wrote it. For example, this blog exists to be an inspiration to other creative dyslexics to chase their dreams that have setbacks by their learning challenges. By not creating this content, there isn't a vehicle for the inspiration I want others to have. Therefore my desier to help others come to terms with any kind of disability is the core driving force that keeps me writing. 

Another fear I currently face with blogging is the fear that no one is reading it. If no one is reading my work then it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that I am not good enough. Not feeling good enough also stems from the depression that is as much a part of who I am as writing and creativity are. Having depression itself for many years has made me believe that ”someday my story will mean something”. (Shyelle - Rise of the Dragon Kingdoms, 223, Second Edition. Amanda Evergreen) If my story inspired you to live just one more day, to hold onto hope for one more hour, than the struggles have proven worthwhile. 

If you want to be a fearless blogger, you must first be a fearless storyteller. Write your story thoroughly, including the emotional details of your triumphs and trails. Be willing to be brutally honest and real about your life, struggles, experiences. The best writing advice I got was from my high school creative writing course, which is to; ”Write what you know.” This refers to the fact that your best work is going to be inspired by a conflict or problem you personally face in your waking life. 


Shyelle Book (My Publication)

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Maximize your Community Day Pokemon Go Gameplay in the Pandemic

To prepare for a Pokemon Go community day during the pandemic is tricky, especially if you are stuck in quarantine. However, I am going to provide some simple tips to maximize your gameplay. 

First off you will want to make sure you have enough incense to last you the entire duration of the community event. Most people will recommend purchasing it, but I enjoy grinding for coins by defending gyms. You can also get incense from a lot of the special research tasks. 

Second, you will need to stock up on pokeballs a couple of days before the event. This is where it is beneficial to expand your item bag storage. Again, you can do this without any in app purchases, it just might take a bit longer so be patient. Sending and opening gifts with your friends is a pretty easy way to stock up on items too. Currently, you can get up to 15 gifts bet day from your buddy Pokemon as COVID 19 cases are climbing even higher. 

I also recommend some lucky eggs to get the XP boost to help you level up faster. In addition, I like to use a star piece at the same time to double my stardust earnings. Most of the time I can get these items from special research as well. 

You will want to clear out your Pokemon storage as much as possible so that you can keep catching Pokemon over an extended period. It gets pretty tedious to be constantly clearing out your storage space. 

During the most recent community day, I got 9 shiny magmar without even leaving the house!

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